For Primus' Sake!
by Optronix Prime
Summary: When someone messes with Prowl's datapads, all pit breaks loose. Crack fic. Fluff. Enjoy!


**Author's Note: Well...enjoy this little crack fic!**

**Disclaimer: I...I hate to admit this...but I don't own Transformers... *sad face***

"THAT'S IT!" Prowl shouted, thrusting the door to his office open causing it to smash into the wall. "WHERE ARE THE SPAWNS OF THE PIT!" With his wings hitched high, his frame trembling, Prowl stormed out; marching down two flights of stairs to the Medbay. The door banged open and a surprised squeak and the clatter of tools could be heard as Prowl banged his way in.

"Tell me where they are this. Very. MINUTE!" Prowl raged at the frightened femme.

"Who are 'they'?!" Optronix yelled over his crazed madness.

"Burn-Out and Freeway!" Optronix blinked at him.

"Why do you want them?" Prowl glowered at her, his wings quaking. Through gritted denta he snarled,

"They glued every _single_ one of my datapads to the ceiling of my office!" Optronix willed herself not to laugh.

"And how do you know it was them?" she asked calmly. Prowl slammed down a datapad in answer. Optronix picked it up and read:

_**Enjoy!**_

_**xoxo Burn & Free**_

"Well, it does appear to be them," Optronix admitted, grinning a little too widely to be sympathetic.

"Hand them over now!"

"You are not murdering Flare's children!"

"I'm not going to kill them! Just beat the utter slag out of them!"

"You're not doing that either!"

"WHERE ARE THEY?!"

"Right here," a familiar voice called from behind them. Prowl turned so fast, optics flashing a murderous blue. He almost hit Optronix in the face as he turned. The second in command was so mad he could hardly form words. His optics blazing with lust only seen one other time. Prowl was going to kill them if he got his servos around their throats. That much was obvious. Freeway shot Prowl a brilliant smile, optics glittering behind his visor. Prowl's digits twitched. Freeway tore off, Prowl hot on his heels. Freeway laughed in delight as the second in command chased him down the hall.

"Sometimes I question my choice of bonding with them," Flazer said as she walked in with a box.

"Silverflare questioned herself too," Optronix replied. "Sideswipe's just as crazy has his creation, mind you."

That fact was proven when Freeway dragged Burn-Out into the mix. Burn-Out wasn't even aware that his twin had even pranked anyone, seeing as his signature had been forged. Prowl chased them mercilessly. They ran around the Ark, pushing mechs aside, hollering at people to get out of their way or simply took them out. Bluestreak was one of the poor victims, and to Freeway's delight, Tracks was too.

After roughly fifteen minutes, everyone started collecting in the rec room, Smokescreen in the thick of it all, taking bets.

"Who will win? Prowl or the twins?" he called over the crowd. "Which Autobot will be the next underfoot? Mirage? Ratchet? Place your bets here!"

A strangled cry could be heard echoing down the hall.

"Bumblebee has fallen!" Blaster called over the P.A. "I repeat, Bumblebee has been smashed unda ped like ah pancake in a press!" Mechs pushed forward to claim their winnings from Smokescreen. Mirage looked revolted by the crowd, muttering violently about them.

And then it was over. Freeway and Burn-Out trampled Optronix, practically taking the bull by the horns as the humans would say. Sunstreaker tackled both mechs. Prowl started beating on all of them. Silverflare showed up, screaming at Prowl was murdering her babies. At some point Sideswipe showed up and tried prying Prowl off everyone. There was so much screaming and shouting that everyone in the base was drawn to it like moths to an open flame. Someone was squashing Optronix, a fist punched Freeway, someone's servos ripped down Prowl's wings.

"Enough!" Optimus' voice boomed over them. Ratchet was looking furious; Jazz was trying to hold in his laughter. Wheeljack and Blaster were holding back Ironhide and his canons.

The scene before them wasn't pretty. Freeway's chest had caved in his spark pulsing a light blue-purple. Burn-Out's arm was twisted in an awkward position, energon leaking from several wounds, Freeway too. Sides and Sunny were mostly uninjured accept for Sunny's bleeding lip. Optronix spat out a mouthful of energon onto the floor, lying limp on the floor, groaning. Prowl certainly wasn't. One wing was bent at a bad angle, the other sparking wildly. His chest and back were dented, clawed, and spewing energon. The lot of them looked awful. Then a whole 'nother can of worms was opened up.

"Which one of you scratched my paint?!" Sunstreaker snapped, looking down at his chest, touching it. His optics flashed dangerously.

"Sunny..." Optronix said warningly, sitting up, placing a servo on his shoulder. He grumbled and stayed quiet.

"I am disgusted by your behavior," Prime began. "Especially yours, Prowl." Prowl's damaged wings fell in shame. "I want to know who started this," he demanded.

"Burn and Free hot glued all of Prowl's datapads to the ceiling of his office and he flipped the table. Freeway taunted him and thus the chase began," Flazer said, walking up behind them. "Then they trampled Bluestreak, Tracks, Bumblebee, and Carrier. Sire pounced on them for hurting Carrier. Flare and Sides turned up because they could hear their kids being mangled and Prowl obviously got the slag beat out of him." Optimus wasn't looking happy.

"Prowl, Burn-Out, Freeway, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, and Optronix, to the brig. Now." Prime ordered.

"What?! Me!" shrieked Optronix.

"Because someone needs to keep an optic on this hooligans and I've elected you." It was Optronix's turn to not look happy. Out of nowhere two wrenches slammed into Sides and Sunny's helms, knocking them out.

"Ratchet, was dat realleh necessary?" Ironhide asked.

"Yes. Yes it was."

**LATER**

_"Home, home on the range..."_ Sideswipe sang weakly, clinking a cup against the grooves in the wall.

"Must you?" Optronix growled.

"Yes."

"Bite me."

Shut up, both of you," Freeway sighed half-halfheartedly as he scratched a shape into the floor absentmindedly. Burn-Out grumbled in his cell.

"Why are there so many cells? We only need two." Sunstreaker glared at Burn-Out.

"Why I oughta..."

"Sunny!"

"FREEWAY!" someone shouted over Optronix's reprimand. Freeway cackled gleefully, knowing in his spark that cell block D was going to be his home for quite a while.

**Author's Note:**

**Optronix and Flazer are mine**

**Silverflare, Burn-Out and Freeway belong to LamboTwinsGirl and are used with permission**

**Please review!**

**~Nix**


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